I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
