I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Pants are for mortals
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
