At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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