he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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