In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
