i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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