That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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