you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
