I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
wow bdsm is so cute
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
