In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
did you just send me my own nude
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
