Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
