you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
