Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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