I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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