I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
