you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
