he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
