i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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