but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
