dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
