Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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