I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
