Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
