Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this will be a night to untag.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
