i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
