I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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