i used baking grease as lip gloss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A+ Viking dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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