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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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