THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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