Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
