I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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