they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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