idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
