What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
