I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
