I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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