I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
