Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
