My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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