Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
