i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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