Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
