i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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