Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
