I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
