Whod you bang
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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