remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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