didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they need to just BURY HIM!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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