I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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