I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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