Do you still have your period?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
