Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
